What Are Swingers?

Swingers are predominantly couples in an open relationship who find thrill in having sex with people, primarily other couples, outside their partners. They are people that live a polyamory lifestyle, well, sort of. Swinging and Polyamory can overlap in definition; however, they are two different beasts. Polyamory involves a dynamic wherein the arrangement becomes a four-way fuck buddy relationship between the couples involved. It requires constant communication and sometimes exclusivity. On the other hand, swinging is purely about having sex with other swinger couples without being emotionally attached to them while staying committed exclusively to their partners. 

Most of the time, swingers are couples aged between 30 – 50 years old, professionals, and married or have been together for more than five years. In recent years, however, younger couples have been engaging in the lifestyle. However, very few singles women live the swinger lifestyle; they are called “unicorns” because of their rarity – hence why a lot of males seek escorting services to bring a girl along. On the other hand, single males are rarer because the community acknowledges the stereotype of men being more sexually aggressive. On the rare times that single men are present in a mixer, they are the most well-mannered people in the event and would only engage with couples once invited. 

What people on the outside think about the lifestyle

Often referred to as “The Lifestyle,” swinging may come off as too much for most people. It is understandable, though; not everyone can share their partner with another man or woman and be okay with it, much more be supportive of it. But swingers consider this lifestyle as a part of their relationship. If anything, living The Lifestyle is built on trust and understanding, something that most “vanilla couples” have problems with.

While most people would think that swinging is a relationship deal-breaker, swingers consider the activity helpful to their relationship. The communication between a swinging couple while respecting each other’s boundaries and adhering to their set rules helps them strengthen the relationship.

Another ill-perceived idea about swinging is that swingers are sex maniacs, wanting to have sex with everyone and anyone at any time. However, this is exactly the opposite. Swingers do not engage other swingers just because they live the same lifestyle and do not share a bed with another couple unless both of them agree to it. Much like any activity couples do, swinging gives enjoyment to the couples living The Lifestyle. It is consensual and done to enrich their sex life and to prevent a dead bedroom.